Blood from A Stone
by alizabethianrose
Summary: Sequel to Twisted Seduction! When there's no feelings at all And it looks like it hurts but I can't be quite sure you are trying to draw blood from a stone. Everything has fallen apart are they strong enough to survive when the loves seems to have got lost along the path. Punk/Randy Slash!
1. Falling Down

**So the much promised sequel to Twisted Seduction, you are going to want to read that before you start this. Typical disclaimers, I own no one, they own themselves, this is all from my mind, this is slash, it contains dom/sub relationships. There will be violence and smut ahead, so you are warned.**

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I wish I could pinpoint the moment it all came crashing down, the second in time when it all fell, where was I when it happened, was I laughing, was I happy, spending time with the kids, our friends, or was I standing with him when he decided it became too much? The empty space beside me now, the quietness of our home, the pitying looks they all scream in my ears that you're not here. I press my fingers to the fading bruises on my neck, marks from your fingers the day you left a painful reminder of the end. Though it's not the bruises that lay heavy in my heart or what my fingers search for, the necklace you tore from me, your collar now gone from my bare neck and there are times when I cannot breath without it, when the truth sets in and I am alone. I think of the start, when it was nothing more than a game to you I was a conquest and you broke everything I thought I believed in. Now I wonder if it was still a game to you, was your love every real, were you just building me back up, teaching me to believe in things that I could never have imagined before only to crush me.

I guess it is easier blaming you, but when I take a long look in the mirror the reality is I'm at fault, I told you to leave, I told you I was done that I couldn't do it anymore. The look in your eyes when I told you I felt like I was sleeping beside a stranger, that I didn't know you anymore, that the man I loved, you were killing him and I refused to watch. I stayed longer then my pride wanted too, but there is no pride with love is there. Love can bring out the worst in people, love can make you accept things you wouldn't normally. Love make you blind Randy, and I let you stay because I couldn't picture my future without you. The first time you got suspended not long after our son was born I ignored it, I passed it off, the tests were wrong, after everything we had gone through, after everything you did to get me clean, to make me healthy why would you turn back to your old ways.

The second time when Hunter came to me told me the result I begged him to cover it up, you were already at two strikes and if you weren't able to wrestle, if you were fired I would follow you. The pity in his eyes killed me as I promised to get you help, he agreed to my request. I confronted you then, you denied it, you told me there had to be a mix up and I so desperately wanted to believe you I accepted the lie. We both knew it was a lie, I was living with the mood swings, the irrational anger, and the pain when you would lash out at me and passing it off as stress. I ignored John and Bryan when they told me a dom doesn't treat his sub that way, I ignored Colt and Cody when they told me to walk away. I ignored it all, because ignorance is fucking bliss. It's really not, it's just a way to deny the pain a little longer.

The rumors started and I tried to pretend I didn't hear them, didn't believe that you would ever cheat on me. Our love was too strong, you would never look elsewhere to be satisfied. Even when it was in my face, when I would see guys leaving our bus, when I would follow you to a bar and watch as you drank and flirted and left with someone. Even when I spent countless nights alone I would tell myself that everything was okay because it had to be. You saved me, you fought for me, why would you destroy this, destroy us? I don't understand, I just don't understand.

I think it was the confusion, the loneliness that made me turn to someone else, a stranger in a bar made me feel more desired then my own husband had in months. It was our two year anniversary, two years and I was fucking alone in a bar, while you were god knows where and I almost ordered a drink. When he approached, he flirted with me, charmed me, told me things I needed to hear from you and so when my phone went off and I saw it was you I ignored it. I left with that man, I went home with him and this morning when I returned I confessed, and then I told you to leave. I've never seen you so silent, seething in rage directed towards me, choking me, ripping away our relationship as easily as you tore the necklace from me. I didn't cry, I couldn't, and really our love the last few months was like trying to get blood from a stone. It's ironic I once needed you to survive without you facing the world was too difficult, but now I know I'll be fine on my own.

When there are no feelings left, when it should hurt and it doesn't, when the only thing I can bring to the surface for you is anger, it's time to stop fighting Randy. I have to stop fighting for you, for some reason you saved me yet you won't let me save you. At some point I have to think of our children, of their future, and I refuse to let them grow up watching us hate each other. How did this all happen, how did it all fall apart, where was I when you chose another life over the one we built? I'm tired Randy I am so tired and so now I give up. Part of me will always love you, so I hope you have a great life and you find the peace I can't seem to give you.

I talk to him in my head, unable to say the words to his face. He is on his way back to St. Louis and I'm here in the home we built with all of the reminders of the life we created, his parents have the kids they ere watching them so we could have a romantic anniversary weekend. When I walk into the kitchen I see the burned down candles, the scattered flowers, evidence of the night Randy planned for us, in a way proof he still cared but I never showed, I stood him up like all the times he had done it to me. The sad fact is that this would have made me so happy a few weeks ago, but the moment I left the bar with that man I had made a choice, a choice to end everything to let it all go and face the truth. My husband is an addict, hell I am a recovering addict and somehow that dynamic make us more co-dependent on each other. It puts us in an unhealthy place when either of us are using and he is.

I sit at the table and play with my cell phone thinking of who I should call, I'm sure Randy is heading too his parents and I don't want him to take the ids but I've already made that call, they won't let him, they knew before me there son was falling apart again. They don't think me walking away will help but I'm out of option, and perhaps out of love. I decide to call Colt, ha and Cody are doing well and he hasn't made a move on me since I rejected him, our relationship is growing stronger again and I could use my best friend. When he doesn't answer I leave him a message asking him to call me back, telling him I kicked Randy out. I sigh deeply and then decided to call Bryan, he has become my rock, gives me great advice. I'm not sure if he is available, I think he and John took there son on a little vacation but I'm in hopes I can still reach him, because searching this house and finding Randy's stash sounds like a good idea. "Hey Punk how you doing?" I breath a deep sigh, he sounds so happy I'm not sure I should dump my shit on him, but if I don't then I could make it worse for myself.

"Not great, I umm lot of stuff happened and I well Randy and I are over. I think I really want some pills and I won't do that because our kids need at least one person not out of their minds, but he took my collar and I'm kind of having problems breathing when I think of that. I mean it's my fault I kicked him out, I cheated on him. I just needed to talk to someone and I know you are on vacation but Colt didn't answer his phone and I'm not sure what the hell I'm doing, I'm rambling now, but I can't stop, and I'm sorry I called, I'll let you go." I don't hang up the phone thought that is my intention instead I listen to muffle conversation and then John's voice fills the phone.

"Hey Punk, everything is going to be okay, Bryan is getting a hold of Colt and we are going to head home, we will get the next flight out. Everything will be okay, just talk to me." I whimper because the carefully controlled emotions I've had are starting to crumble. You see I can claim I don't love Randy, that he isn't everything to me but he is and the more I sit here in out trashed kitchen with my fingers searching for the collar I no longer wear, the more it sets in, becomes reality and the less control I keep.

"I'm fine, you don't need to cut your trip short, I'll be fine." He makes a dismissive noise and keeps talking to me. I listen halfheartedly, standing from the kitchen I head down the stairs, carefully punching in the code I go into our playroom, searching frantically until I find the red leather collar, the sign of my submission when it is just us. I clutch it in my hands listening to John talk to me softly. I return upstairs and walk into our bedroom, clutching the leather in my hands I curl up on our bed, his scent surrounding me and here I finally break while John tried to comfort me tears fall and I desperately try to think of happier times, before it fell apart. Alls I can think is I don't understand, I just don't fucking understand.

This is where I am in our bed clutching that damn leather when fingers take the phone and end my call, the scent of Colt surrounds me and I almost push him away because he is blocking my smell of Randy. Instead I look up at him, his eyes are worried, and they are kind and soft. I stare at him and wonder why I didn't pick him, he would have never done this, never, he would have loved me right, built a life with me and never let me down, but he has Cody now and seems happy without me. That thought doesn't stop my desperation though as I grab him and crush my lips to his, Colt could love me right. He seems frozen, not moving but then his lips part and his tongue is in my mouth. I can't stop, my brain will not reject the comfort he is giving me. "You really are a fucking whore" I pull back and spin to the doorway, he's here Randy is here with my necklace dangling between his fingers. I thought he had headed to St, Louis I thought he had left me, I told him too. I feel my heart rate increases as Colt steps between me and my enraged husband willing to take the brunt of his anger. "You better tell Cody before I do, because I will, you've always wanted him and know you can have him. Well at least that's what you fucking think, he is mine Cabana, as long as he wants this, and he is mine. John called and told me to return this to you Punk, so here." He tosses it to me, and he knows how cruel that is, I can't out it on myself, it's not allowed if a dom removes it, he has to be the one to put it back on.

"Randy please" alright I may have kicked him out but I never consider an end to this part of our relationship, never did I picture him now being my dom, my ex-husband maybe but still my dom, and know I see how crazy that line of thinking is, if one ends so does the other.

"Randy please what? Should I stay, should I fuck you to remind you of your place? Should I fucking go so you and Cabana can finally have your fun, so you can spread your legs and ruin your friends marriage, just like you destroyed ours last night by being nothing more than a pathetic slut. Randy please what?" I cringe and stare at him over Colt's shoulder.

"Leave" I whisper and he glares at me "please leave sir" I whisper this hoping he will just go I am so confused as it is, they both need to leave.

"I'm staying at the hotel down the street, call when you finish getting your rocks off with Colt, or John, or Bryan, when you are ready to accept your punishment for your actions." He's gone before I can respond and this time the tears fall, and Colt bundles me in his arms as I lay my head on his shoulder. By the time my tears dry up I glance up at my best friend and sigh.

"You should go, I'm sorry, he will tell Cody." He shrugs and leans against our headboard.

"Already did, he's upset but see we kind of rushed into this marriage thing, and you know umm we decided to try an open marriage out for a while. Just trying see if we like it, you have your kinks we have ours. So he may not like the fact that is you but he won't say a word about the kiss, I'll just get evil looks for a few days." I nod and think about kissing him again it was a nice distraction, however in all honesty it's the last thing I should do today so I just pick up the necklace and hold it I my hand, allowing my best friend to give me comfort in an appropriate way.

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**Okay so not a happy start, but these two always have drama. Please review and let me know what you think.**


	2. Hope in the Darkness

**Okay this is still Punk's POV we will be getting to Randy's but it will take a few chapters before we get there. Thestart of this is very much Punk's decision and his choices and how they will impact the future.**

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By the time John and Bryan arrive I've gotten past the crying, the pain, and throwing myself at Colt. At this moment in time I am numb, completely and utterly numb. I know Randy is just up the street and perhaps I could go to him, try to work this all out, convince him that the drugs he is using are not worth me and the children, but honestly I'm just so tired of fighting. Hell I think perhaps, it's the avoidance of the fighting that has exhausted me, by pretending we were all right, by lying to myself I think I may have done more damage than good. I watch the guys enter my home, the place I've built with Randy and think perhaps I just need to leave here, maybe get away someplace where he doesn't exist and collect my thoughts, figure out what I want, if we are heading for divorce I can deal with it, if we are going to start over, make a new beginning then I need figure out how we do that from here.

I look down at my hands as John pulls the necklace from my tense fingers, the collar I think is still on our bed but that doesn't mean as much as the necklace. Thee collar is a sign of my submission and trust to Randy, the necklace represents that but also my love for him, and his for me. It's a symbol of the both of us of our connections. So to have him rip it away from me was almost as if saying that no longer existed, I raise an eyebrow as John fastens the necklace back into place. "I'm not allowed to do that John, he has to put it on." John snorts and then holds my chin firmly in his hand so we are meeting eye contact.

"I'm a dom and I know that he wants this around your neck, he wouldn't have brought it back if he didn't want it here. So I am doing the honors for Randy and putting it where it belongs before you completely lose it. If I took away Bryan's necklace he would not handle it well, and so I am assuming that you wouldn't either." I nod and smile when Bryan sits beside me, slipping slightly away from Colt to snuggle into his side, its odd and although Colt is my best friend and always will be there is still underlying tension so I've grown closer to Bryan, maybe because we have similar relationships or maybe because Randy and John are best friends and we spend more time together. I'm curious though about Colt and Cody's relationship, an open relationship seems odd to me, those two are not the type so I wonder if they are having problems.

We sit in silence for a while, no one really knowing what to say to me, and I'm at a loss. "Sorry to cut your vacation short, where did John take you?" It was a surprise and it had been driving Bryan mad for weeks not knowing.

"It's okay I was getting bored, he took me to a place in Colorado on a lake, private beach, very scenic." I snort like either of them saw the sights, but it does not peaceful almost a perfect place to think and well get away from… I refuse to think about the other issue in my life right now. Okay so I think I may have a stalker, though this one not quite as intelligent as Paul was, whoever it is sends me emails, and pictures, and text messages from a blocked number. There creepy and slightly specific something I had wanted to talk to Randy about yet it never seemed like the right time, I mean how do I tell a guy out of his mind on drugs that somebody is watching me, and at first I could have sworn it was Paul, even though I know in the back of my mind he didn't make it out of that house.

"How long do you have the place for?" I don't want to horde in on their vacation but honestly being here may drive me over the edge. John smiles brightly at me.

"I kind of purchase the place so I guess forever. Go pack Punk, you could use a few days away from all of this without Randy breathing down your neck." I turn and look at Colt unsure if he would come with us.

"I'll call Cody see if he wants to come with us." I cringe slightly not sure if Cody is going to want to see me if Randy called him. Hell I'm sure Randy called him, and I think maybe Colt coming with us is a bad idea yet I want him there so I just nod heading into my bedroom with Bryan trailing behind me.

"Is this place big enough for all of us?" Bryan sits on the edge of my bed folding the clothes I haphazardly throw into a bag.

"Of course does John ever do something on a small scale, it's huge and lavish, and you could get lost in it, and I'm sure he will have multiple heart attacks as we break it in and give the place a much needed lived in feel." I smile John is neurotic, maybe even OCD when it comes to his home, everything has a place and should be in those places at all times. It took Bryan a long time to break him of some of his odd behaviors, even longer for Bryan to learn to live with some of them. "How are you doing?" I shrug and take a seat beside of him.

"I don't know, at the moment just numb, ask me in a while I may be on the verge of another breakdown. I should probably call my therapist but then I would have to talk about it and I'm not sure I'm entirely ready to analyze my every decision. I feel dirty though, I went home with a complete stranger last night and he's the first guy beside Randy that I've willingly allowed inside my body. I didn't even find him that attractive Bryan, I think it was almost more about revenge than anything else. Now I feel like I can't get clean, like I violated everything with Randy despite what he has been doing behind my back. Then I threw myself at Colt, now healthy is that for our strained relationship." I lean back and close my eyes I can feel Bryan staring at me, so I glance at him through half lidded eyes.

"Randy deserves what you did last night and a lot more Punk, however it didn't make you feel good so I would suggest in the future you weigh that against the need for payback. I think you need to call your therapist if you feel like you're that close to the edge, we all know how unpretty it is when you fall apart, I think avoiding that at all cost would be good." I shrug at him but have no intention of calling him. "Leaning on Colt I understand completely, he's a safe place to fall, someone who has confessed his love for you, who would never hurt you. However he is married to Cody so I would suggest trying not to involve yourself in their marriage, it seems like they are pretty happy together."

"Looks can be deceiving" I mutter but stand to go back to packing my cell phone goes off, and the unknown caller stares me in the face when I check it. I hit the answer button and hold the phone to my ear "hello" once again and not for the first time today alls I hear is breathing and the occasional grunt "hello" I swear it almost sounds like the person on the other end is masturbating but the thought of that is just disturbing. "Go fuck yourself, stop fucking calling me" I end the call and sigh at Bryan's look "it's nothing, I just need to change my number, some creep got a hold of it, probably some psycho fan." He nods we've all had those, most are harmless enough. I finish packing and my phone goes off again, I sigh at Randy's name and decline the call. I'm not going to leave town without him knowing but I hearing his voice would be too much. I send him a text instead _going out of town with John and Bryan to think, just please give me a week and then we will talk, please give me the space I need so we can sit down together. Also please be sober for that conversation, I still love you, I just need space._ I'm walking in the living room when I get a response, he tells me he will give me the space and asks if he can stay at the house. I agree to this as it is his home too, and I'm not going to be here but I do ask him to not have any of his whores in our home. It's a low blow one to which he doesn't respond. Instead he informs me he wants to work this out, my only response to this it to tell him is he means it to get help. I turn my phone off after this, he seems more leveled headed at least but I wonder if that will last.

When I enter the living room Cody has arrived and is handing Colt a bag, he looks over at me and I tense. "Randy called and nothing he said really surprised me. I'm agreeing to let Colt go with you because I am hoping it will help the two of you work out your shit, if you choose him then at least I stop being your fucking substitute, if you don't and its Randy then let my husband go Punk, because you haunt our fucking relationship." Before I can even think of a response he is out the front door leaving everyone in award silence. Great now I have more to deal with but then again I've always need to deal with this, it's just another thing I have found myself avoiding. Colt looks almost embarrassed so I just shrug and give him a smile, hopefully by the time I sit down with Randy then I will have answers for Colt, for myself, and for my husband. We head out to the car, and to the airport where a private plan is waiting to take us to our destination.

On the plane Colt sits down beside of me and I look over studying him, "I don't want to lead you on." He chuckles and takes my hand lacing his fingers with mine, and I wonder when the last time Randy held my hand was.

"You're not, you always made it clear Randy was it for you. My problems with Cody run deeper then you, he knows it and so do I. Just try to enjoy the next few days, relax and don't focus so much on the shit going on. I know you, you will drive your self insane trying to analyze every little thing." I nod, he knows me well, I do this easily so I hope I can do what he requests, I want to ask what exactly is going on with Cody but I'm not sure knowing the extent of their problems will help me. I stare out the window as the world below us gets smaller, until alls I can see are the white peaks of clouds underneath us. Colt's thumb strokes the back of my hand and I find myself leaning against him seeing comfort, night is slowly starting to descend so I rest my head on his shoulder trying to find sleep. It does not come to me and however John and Bryan drift off and it leaves just myself and Colt, I turn in my seat and stare at him for a long time.

"Will you stay with me?" he gives me a questioning look and I sigh "at the house, stay in a room with me, I don't want to be alone and its not like we haven't shared a bed together many times, hell we practically lived in the same bed in the past." I'm opening a door that should have stayed closed, but then again maybe it never was, perhaps it was always cracked with me peeking in.

"Punk, I don't know if that's a good idea" I shrug and then lean forward pressing my lips to his again, his hand is in my hair in a second and he is deepening the kiss. I return it for a moment before pulling back. Guilt again clawing its way into my conscious, I think I may be using my best friend, to gather comfort Randy seems unable to give me. I think I may be destroying this friendship, blowing it up in my own face, but just maybe that is what I need to do. To convince Colt that he belongs with Cody, I have a feeling Colt couldn't handle me, my demands, my moods, couldn't handle being in a relationship with me. I turn and he sighs into my ear as I settle against him.

"I'll share with you" I nod I knew he would and a plan slowly comes together, the next few days I am going to give Colt exactly what he wants, he wants me, he is so going to get me full blown and hopefully he will see that you need to be careful what you wish for. Hell I already know that if we can Randy and I will work things out, his necklace around my neck tells me that, Randy is where I belong I just need to convince Colt that I am not where he belongs, and if I get to take comfort with him for a few days then so be it.

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Nobody noticed me outside of Punk's house, watching as they all left together in anger, I hid in the shadows, a raging bull plotting, planning, and determined to finish what Paul had started. I already put many aspects in motion, starting the cheating rumors, encouraging Randy's drug use, putting the cracks in there relationship so that when the time came to strike, the viper wouldn't care that his little straight edge husband had gone missing, when I finished no one would even know or care Punk was gone. I just needed to eliminate a few more obstacles and Punk would be all mine, John, Bryan, and Colt all needed to go, at any cost I needed to get rid of them and soon, my patience is wearing thin, I want Punk underneath me screaming sooner than later begging for death as I brutalize his body the same way he did to Paul. I won't let hi get away with what he did to Paul, soon Punk will know what hell is like, he'll just be alive to experience it.

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**Thank you everyone who read the first chapter, i was so happy to see so many of my readers from Twisted Seduction back for the ride in this one. Everyone here is just amazing and I hope you remember to review it keeps me motivated.**

**Totally Unispired Name- I love your name it is awesome! Thank you for the review! I hope the sequel will live up to your hopes! :-)**

**Viperko- Thank you for your review, it is a sad start and I can not guarantee a happy ending, although I do tend to only write happy endings lol.**

**Krebsbach- Thank you for your review, it is not immediately but here is more!**

**lamentomori- Told you it would start with drama, I think this offers less drama but more questions. When we get to Randy's POV I hope somethings will be explained. He is not talking to me much yet, but I'm sure when it's is turn he will not shut the hell up. Colt and Cody well unfortunately I believe Punk may be the biggest problem there and we will see what happens with that. One out of three is very realistic for relationships these day, although I hope to get it to be two of three at least again lol!**


	3. Burn with You

Randy's POV

I do not do alone very well, it is something I have learned throughout the years, it allows me time to think, to reflect on everything. Being alone in our home, my husband off deciding if he should leave me, or if we have anything that can be fixed, my children at my parents who informed me that they won't hand them over to me, only to Punk. Apparently I am not stable enough to have my children in my custody and I'm not fighting them on this in fact I agree with their decision. In all honesty with everything going on I'm not good to be around anyone period, I am so angry at Punk, but more so myself. I've known for a while we were falling apart and I take large responsibility for the position we find ourselves in but not complete Punk owns some of this too. I think maybe it started when we chose to take Alannah in full time, or when we had our son, our focus became not just on each other and he started to pull away. I understand that we have a family now, but in the process of becoming one we lost part of what made our relationship special. I felt neglected and I know it is so stupid but that feeling from my sub made me do some stupid shit. Being here alone is compelling me to continue down that path, part of me wonders what I would have to do to make Punk stop loving me, to give up, to stop burning with me.

I've spent the last day sitting on my couch, staring at the walls look for answers in the plaster on the ceilings, and feeling my body crave. I never met to start using again, honestly that was never part of the plan, hell after everything with Punk I thought I had finally chased that demon away. I was never so wrong though, at the first opportunity I did what I shouldn't have and I know that in reality was the start of our relationship crashing. Our relationship has never been perfect, it has always had demons, and devils chasing at our heels but in all honestly I would burn for Punk so why I chose this path is even a mystery to myself. I know I'm an addict that an addict looks for any excuse to use, and Punk not making me a priority would easily be more than enough of an excuse but honestly I don't think that was even my reason. I have these awful nightmares, blood on my hands, the smell of gasoline, the cracking of bones. I did it for Punk and would do a million more times but my subconscious knows I killed a person, I took their life and so I am now haunted by him in my dreams. I can't talk to Punk about it though, I can't talk to anyone I did what I had to and know I must live with my actions but at the same time it is just easier to deal with when I'm a little fucked up.

The reason though for the cravings in my body is Punk he wants me to be sober when we talk and so help me I am going to give him that even if it's the last time we talk I will do this knowing I tried my hardest to repair everything. I need answers, why he thinks I cheated, I would never cheat on him, his body, his very soul is the only thing I would ever desire and trying to replace him in my bed would be impossible hell the idea of fucking someone else makes me cringe no way in hell could I get it up for anyone at this point besides my husband. I may be his dom but he has more control over me than he realizes, he is my husband, my perfect sub so I would never do what he thinks. Yet he did it to me, with a complete fucking stranger, how the hell do I forgive that. Fuck at this moment he is out of town with Colt a man I walked in on my husband making out with and all I can do is hope, trust that what we have is enough to win over any tiny piece of a relationship he has with Cabana. They love each other, Cody and I have had many talks on this. Hell Cody's relationship is falling apart in many ways thanks to Punk, not just Punk's need for Colt but also Colt's willingness to run every time Punk calls, he would drop everything at the chance to be inn Punk's presence and Cody is starting to see that he may not have a chance against Punk's hold on Colt.

In all honesty it's not something I worry about, if Colt's a part of our lives then so be it, I would never share Punk with him, but he can be the best friend. I've always been confident that everything Punk and I have lived through, gone through together makes our bond so much stronger, our love deeper, but I'm starting to see the aftershocks in may have caused to us. The ripples that have broken us and we may honestly not be fixable. I just don't know how to forgive him for cheating, or how he will forgive me for the drugs, or quite frankly how to come back together. He's my everything and I'm not sure I could live without him, but at the same time somehow we always end up imploding.

I stare at my hands the fading scratched, marks from Punk's nails as I held him to the wall and squeeze his neck, and for a moment my anger was so deep, so strong that I could see myself snapping it. It's the panic in his eyes that made me step back and take his necklace, I needed to hurt him as much as he did me. He slept with a stranger and told me so casually then kicked me the hell out like it was somehow my fault he spread his fucking legs. I'm not sure us being apart is a good thing, hell I think it is going to give some wounds a chance to fester and the anger to only get stronger. I need Punk like I need air, but we are so not healthy.

Punk is keeping secrets himself, he gets email, texts, and voice mails and becomes even more distant, he is hiding from me. On top of that I found the painkillers he is hiding, I understand that he is honestly in pain but he is also an addict so how do I know he is not abusing them when he hides them from me. I'm not sure he is, but I can't confront him on it; it seems hypocritical. I decide then to get on to our phone account see what I can find, log into Punk's email's see if I can get answers. I'm about to do this when my phone rings, I glance down and can't help but smile. Its odd how I used to find this person so annoying and now he is a close friend, someone I trust. I've been spending a lot of time with new friends, people different from myself who worked there way up through the indies, much like Punk I have a whole new respect for what they have all been through. Though this guy is not exactly an indy wrestler he has become a great friend. "Hey Miz"

We chat for a while, talking about nothing at all. I don't bring up Punk until he asks, I tell him Punk is out of town for the week on vacation with the guys. When he asks where I tell him, I know this only because John texted me in suggestion I come there and not give Punk the space he requested, pretty much demanded I come before I regret it, that I wouldn't like what I'm seeing. I haven't made up my mind out whether this is a good idea, I told Punk I would respect his request. Mike hands up with me a little bit later, and I try to remember what I was doing, it's hard to focus when my body is demanding drugs I am avoiding. It takes a while and I make dinner before I remember what I wanted to check. I'm not a computer expert so it takes me a while to figure out how to get access to our phones and the incoming text records. His emails are easier to find, the man never clears his trash so I read over everything and then read them again. To say I am stunned is an understatement, why would he keep this from me, I can't protect him if he doesn't talk to me. Then again I've been doing a shitty job of protecting him from the moment we met. I've caused him more pain then these messages, hell I still don't know why he built a life with me after everything I did.

I think about calling John telling him what I found, asking him to keep an eye on Punk. Instead I call the airport, it is my job to keep Punk safe and damn it I'm going to whether he likes it or not. So I call the airport and book the next flight, then I pack a bag and call the security company we use. Hopefully they can trace this fucker and we can get rid of whoever this is fast.

I sit outside of the house for a long time, trying to figure out what to say to Punk. How to make him accept my help while our relationship is so strained. Finally I decide on a simple solution he has no choice. I walk into the house, it's late and quiet so I go in search of my husband. I find him in a bedroom wrapped around Colt and feel my temper start to rise but force myself not to react. I rouse him from his sleep and lead him from the bedroom, his brain still foggy he hasn't put the fact that I'm here together yet. I point to the couch and he sits blinking at me finally I see it click and the guard he has slams into place. "What are you doing here Randy? You promised me space, this is not giving me space." I pace in front of him and then turn slowly my eyes locking on the necklace he is wearing.

"If you chose to wear that then I don't need permission to be with my sub. My fucking idiot sub who doesn't tell me when he is in trouble. Who doesn't tell me when someone is threatening him, did you not fucking learn from Paul. You don't play with this shit Punk." His arms wrap around his waist and I know my voice is raised but honestly the boy is trying to get himself hurt.

"Randy I don't know what you are talking about." I literally growl and approach him, I yank him to his feet and hold him tightly to me. Needing to make sure he is safe and whole despite everything.

"Don't fucking lie, emails, text messages, pictures, I've seen it all. I'm not stupid I know when something is upsetting you. Why the hell wouldn't you tell me?" I think I may be shaking him, trying to make him see some reason. He tries to pry my fingers off is arms, but I growl again "stay fucking still" in an instant his hands drop and he is staring at the ground. I used my dom voice, and he reacted so perhaps we still have hope. "Be honest now" I snap and see him take a deep breath.

"No one approached me Randy, it's just twisted mind game. I didn't want to feed into it. It could just be some fan, I saw no reason to react." I laugh and see John, Bryan, and Colt all hovering close by, they don't interfere though.

"Pictures of you, lots of pictures Punk, of you, with our kids, with me. You don't think it's serious someone is stalking you! Look what happened last time, and you didn't even know about the pictures that time. Are you so stupid to think being stalked is not something to worry about? Hell last time almost destroyed you, all it did was cause you pain and suffering." He blinks at me and then shrugs.

"I got you though, so some of it was worth it." I sit heavily on the couch rubbing at my forehead.

"Was is really worth it? I'm so confused because if it was worth it why did you cheat? I would never do that to you. But that is not why I'm here, I'm here to keep you safe, to protect you. So just pretend I'm not here, I'll still give you your space just with me a little closer." Punk looks confused at my words and I can see a question on his lips. "What Punk?"

"You never cheated, what about all the guys leaving your room, the bus, what about Mike?" I think I may snort at his question.

"Never ever cheated, I couldn't, you are my everything and as a dom I would never do that to my sub. Mike is a friend, nothing more and I have no clue what you mean by people leaving the room, or our bus. Friends maybe, or people Mike may be with, he's a little whore and his roommate hates it so he uses our bus and our room when we are out. I thought I told you he was using it." Punk shakes his head and I see more pain in his eyes I'm not sure why though what does it matter.

"I'm sorry, I thought. . ."

"Doesn't matter does it Punk, what's done is done" he nods and rubs the back of his neck. "Go back to bed, I'll sleep out here, or in another room. I'm sure Colt is missing you." Punk cringes and goes to speak I shake my head to tired and achy for more of this. I need to make sure this house is secure and then rest. "Figure your shit out with Colt because I'm sick of it, and so is Cody." I state and then leave the room, John follows me and I glance at him. "He has a stalker, seems almost worse than Paul because whoever it is, they are not hiding there obsession in the least, hell they are mocking him with it. Does this place have security?" John nods and we go through the house carefully, checking every door and window, making sure the alarm is active, and then calling John's security team, after all I walked in and woke Punk up with no one ever knowing I was here.

By the time I return to the living room to rest, a spare bedroom seems so far away Punk is curled up on the couch with a blanket and pillow, I glance at him and he pats the space behind him., I lay down and he turns to rest his head into my chest, my arms wrap around him keeping him close. "You're burning up" he whispers and I nod.

"Withdrawal" I state and he nods "you going through it yet?" I feel him bite at his lip but shake his head no. "Should you be?" He nods slowly and I take a deep breath "just painkillers" another nod and I sigh "for pain or for something more?" He shrugs and this one sided conversation is getting annoying so I finally just close my eyes whispering "I still love you even if you are a hypocrite" I can feel his smile and his murmured I love you before I fade off, hoping by tomorrow I will have an answer on who the hell I need to get rid of to keep this man safe. Hell with everything we've been through I would burn with him, or for him whatever he chooses.

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**Okay i hope you all enjoyed seeing a little of Randy's perspective, please remember to review and thank you to all the readers who have come along to this ride from Twisted Seduction.**

**natsukileeRKOlover- I thank you so much for your review, I know I felt bad that Twisted Seduction ended so well and this just starts off so horrible, yes lots of angst and heart ache coming. I hope to eventually give them their happy ending one way or another, even if its not together.**

**lamentomori- so many questions indeed, i hope this answered some of what's going on in Randy's head, this hints at the stalker, but it still may not be who you think it is lol. Colt and Cody well we will get more into that in the future, there is more then just Punk involved. I think Punk uses Colt and not in a good way and Colt is so in love with him he allows it, i'm not sure how Punk can ever completely cut ties with Colt, if I have to write that scene I may cry and have a breakdown while Randymuse laughs with glee. He hates that we keep referring to him in stilettos by the way. At lastly I expect John will have a heart attack I don't think Punk cares which basket laundry goes in, more like the floor with Randy picking up after him lol.**

**Totally uninspired name- There are hints in this chapter, but I still don't think anyone can honestly know who it is, fyi it is not the obvious choice in here.**


	4. Only Human

In the morning I leave Randy asleep on the couch, slipping outside I wander down to the dock taking a seat to watch the sunrise, my head is so confused and just maybe guilt is eating at me. I see the guards and the increased security, typical Randy over reacting to small tiny little threats, protecting me despite everything going on, I just wish he would trust me to take care of myself sometimes. I hear the sound of footsteps approaching and glance over my shoulder, seeing Colt carrying a large cup of coffee I smile and hold out my hand. He gives me the mug and I take a deep breath absorbing the delicious aroma. He sits across from me, and I can tell he is watching me. "So back together with Randy already?" I shrug and then shake my head.

"No, not sure what we are, he wants to keep me safe. He is here to do that but promises not to push me, not to force me to make a decision. I have no clue where we stand, I cheated on him and I'm not sure he can forgive that, and then he says he didn't cheat on me and I think I believe him. I thought he had and so I got revenge now maybe this falling apart is all my fault." Colt gives me a harsh look and I raise an eyebrow wondering where it is coming from.

"He is doing drugs again that is not your fault. That is on him, not you, and does it matter who cheated, if things were good Punk no one would have cheated, no one would have crossed that line. His choices started all of this so stop blaming yourself." I take a sip of the coffee, burning my tongue in the process.

"I can't be angry about the drugs, I can't fault him for that it would be hypocritical." Colt raises and eyebrow and I shrug again.

"Why would it be hypocritical?"

"He stayed by me, got me help when I needed it so for me to be mad at him is pointless, I just need him to get help too Colt." Okay so maybe it is a half-truth maybe I'm not as sober as everyone thinks, but I don't want to talk to Colt about that at the moment. "What exactly do you want me to say Colt, what do you want from me. You're not very good at fishing or playing game." He moves over and sits down beside of me h takes my hand and holds it in his. I stare down at our hands and wonder why despite my love for Randy it almost seems like they are made to fit together.

"Honestly, I've never made it unclear what I want from you. I want you, and not just as a best friend. I could be everything to you that Randy isn't, I would take care of you and treasure you Punk. You just have to give me a chance." Alright I asked for it but in all honesty I shouldn't have started this conversation, hell I should have kept my big fucking mouth shut. Now I have to do this, figure out what to say to him.

"Scott, you know I have feelings for you, you now that, but we're both married. You should be trying to work things out with Cody, I don't know what is going on there but you should be trying to repair it instead of shredding it." He shrugs and squeezes my hand.

"I would walk away in a heartbeat if it meant I got to have you." I shake my head and look out over the water. In truth I've thought about it, Colt offers something different than Randy, but I don't think he could ever be what Randy is to me, I need a dom, and Colt is not capable of it, he doesn't have that in him. I love him for his kindness, his selfishness, his need to keep me safe. Everything Colt has to offer should be enough, could be enough for someone else it is not for me and never will be. So why don't I tell him this, because the moment the words leave my mouth t's going to change everything and I think I have to cut all ties with this man, who has known me forever, who has been at times the only person I could ever trust, I would have to let him go and the fact of the matter is I'm not strong enough to do it. If everything was okay with Randy, if I could see the future with my husband I once envisioned then it would be easier to keep distant from Colt.

"I know you would, give me the day okay Colt. Just give me today, back off and let me think. I promise tonight we will talk more. Can we just sit here and enjoy the sunrise please?" He sighs but just pulls me closer and I snuggle against his side watching as the sun slowly merges from the mountains in the distant. It's a breathtaking sunrise, and I can't help but wonder if that was once Randy and I, brilliant, beautiful, full of color, coming alive, and now we are setting and the darkness on our relationship is causing it to cause me to see out future slip away.

Colt stands and I glance at him, "I'm going into town, explore, I'll be back later." I nod and smile as he walks off. I wish he wasn't so tense and that he looked happy. I'm causing this pain again, I could have sworn he had gotten passed this but now I see it was there all along just waiting for me to go oh, Colt, right I am in love with him too. I head into the house, wondering to my bedroom, the room I share with Colt, I grab the bottle of pills from my bag popping one into my mouth. I settle down onto the bed surrounded immediately with Colt's smell. Would it be so bad to pick Colt I wonder, it would be so much easier.

I'm startled by the opening of the bedroom door, sitting up I blink the sleep from my eyes, Bryan stands in the door way with a smile. "You going to sleep all day?" I glance at my phone seeing that I have been asleep for hours. I shrug and lean back down, I'm on vacation do I really need to be out of bed? Bryan comes over and sits beside me, I snuggle more into the blanket and turn to stare at him. "You can't avoid things by sleeping Punk." I pout at that, I have massive insomnia and for a change my brain wants to shut down and let me sleep to stop thinking why the hell shouldn't I embrace this. "Oh stop pouting if you want to sleep then fine, I just think you need to talk to Randy."

"I know I do, but I came here to figure out what I am going to say without him around, and now he is here. What the hell am I supposed to do now?" Bryan wrinkles his nose and nudges me over climbing into the bed with me. Once he is settle at my side he winces and reaches underneath the covers pulling out the pill bottle.

"Really? Come on Punk, your better than this."

"It's prescribed" I state defensively not wanting more conversation on this.

"So that means you aren't abusing them, that you are taking them how you are supposed to?" I sigh and take them from Bryan tossing them back over to my bag. He seems to understand that the subject s closed at least for now. "You need to be honest with Randy, tell him what you need, what you want, if it is over tell him. If you think you guys can save it and be a family again tell him. Don't lie to spare his feelings, just be honest Punk. He is only here because you are a huge idiot. Ya know you could have told any of us that someone was stalking you and we would have had people protecting you, looking into it, stopping it. You can't hide this shit dude, what the hell would we tell your kids if something happened to you? I know it's a pride thing and you don't want to seem weak, but it's not just about you." I know I want to tell him, I know all of this, it is just not that easy. Randy, colt, whoever is following me, it all reminds me of Paul and then I start having flashbacks. I'm going to have a breakdown soon, I can literally feel myself falling apart. I can turn it on, pretend with the best of them, but eventually I stop figuring out how to get through it. I can only take so much, I can only hold my breath for so long before I drown.

"I'm afraid" I whisper and Bryan's arms wrap around me tightly. "I don't know how to be alone, hell I think in some ways I have been relying on Randy to makes decisions, to take care of me while I float along for so long, I think Paul took a lot of the independence I had and stole it. I know this is what is going wrong with Randy and I, he is in charge of everything, while I go through the motions. I wrestle, take care of the kids, and besides that I don't exist. I'm struggling and I tried to tell Randy but the words get stuck. I can't be alone, but being with him is allowing me to be compliant. I don't want to lose him and if I can't find the part of me that would stand up to Randy, the part that would tell the world to go fuck itself then we are never going to make it." I take a deep breath and shake my head when he goes to speak, I need to get it all out and if he talks I'll stop "then there is Colt I am in love with him, but not like Randy he offers me things Randy can't, but Randy offers me things Colt can't. I wish I could just combine the two and make the perfect guy, but I can't so I have to choose who to hurt. Colt I know sees this as his opportunity, Randy has failed and he could prove himself and pick up the pieces and I love him for that, yet he needs to go the fuck home and fix his marriage but if I tell him then I lose him, and I can't lose both of them."

Another deep breath and I keep on rambling, "I have nightmares all the time, Randy use to notice, calm me, now he just rolls away. I have flashbacks, horrible flashbacks of Paul, what he did to me in that cabin. I think I'm losing my mind, the kids they keep me focused so I stick close to them, but then I think Randy feels neglected. Paul is going to fucking haunt me forever, and these fucking messages, the calls, they are pushing me over the edge, forcing more of the Paul shit to the surface, so what the fuck do I do with it, I don't let it out, I keep it all inside, bite my tongue when I want to scream, stay awake for days to avoid the nightmares, fake a smile, and lose my mind. I'm fucking losing my mind, and using medication to numb it all. Hell I'm addict to fucking painkillers because it numbs me so fucking completely, I've passed out when I had the kids, our son was screaming bloody murder when I finally woke up, Alanna was taking care of him while Daddy rested. Did Randy notice, nope, we are so far apart we stopped noticing when the other one is falling apart. How do we close that distance? How do I stop this downward spiral?" Okay I think I'm done my confession over with, I just hope he has some wonderful fucking advice.

"You need help Punk, so back to your therapist, call Chris and get clean. Drugs are not going to make it better, all the shit is still there when you come down hell if anything it' worse because the drugs made you do shit you wouldn't normally. Stop numbing yourself, tell Randy everything you just told me. Both of you get clean, let Randy's parents keep the kids for a while, or we will take them in. Go to couples consoling, or here is a thought take the time apart you need and then come back together when you are both healthier. Fall apart if you need to, crumble, we will all catch you and help pick up the pieces but don't keep hiding from us." I sigh and nod my hand knowing he is right, the thing is if I call Chris make my confession then not only do I have to get clean, start making decisions, seeing a therapist, I lose wrestling. If I have to go get help, they will strip the title and then what. What the hell do I have without my kids, wrestling, and Randy? I pull the blanket over my head deciding to go back to sleep, I'll think about it later.

When I awaken again the sky is dimming I have honestly slept the whole fucking day away, and I am still exhausted, and achy, I would have taken another pill hours ago so I am starting to go through withdrawal. I stand and make my way over to the bag and sigh when I see the pills gone, in its place is a smiley face on a note from Bryan. That says step one below it. I may kill him, though as I stand there and wonder how to get the pills back it dawns on me that there are raised voices coming from downstairs. I wonder if somebody put clothes in the wrong hamper, John freaks out about that shit.

Heading down the stairs I realize it is not John, its Colt and Randy yelling at each other. I rush into the living room stopping in the doorway at Colt's words, not wanting this to be happening. "I'm not going to back the fuck off Randy, I have no reason to respect your marriage when you didn't respect mine. Have you told Punk yet? Did you tell him that you slept with my husband? That you and Cody got drunk and sleep together, or are you still hiding it, lying about it, pretending it never happened. I love Punk and so you can go fuck yourself, I will not back off." I haven't been scene yet, but by the looks on everyone's face, they all knew, everybody but me.

"When" every head in the room spins my way and I see the panic in Randy's eyes.

"Punk can we talk about this alone" I ignore Randy and stare at Colt waiting for an answer.

"A week before your first anniversary, I walked in on it, Cody swears it was a mistake they were drunk. I didn't tell you because I thought you wouldn't believe me, being in love with you. He couldn't even last a year before cheating on you. It's why Cody and I are struggling." I close my eyes honestly I have had enough of everyone in this room. It's been over a year and not one of them told me, not one of them and I don't blame them I wouldn't have told me either.

"Guess that makes us even" I snap at Randy "Oh no not really I confessed as soon as I saw you. You chose to keep it a secret and let it affect our marriage without telling me why. Fuck you." Randy goes to step closer to me, and I move back. Colt heads my way and I notice him stumble, as soon as he is close enough can smell why. "You're drunk Colt go to bed." He shakes his head and grabs my hands.

"Tell him it's over, tell him you're going to be with me, please Punk I love you and would never hurt you like this, pick me damn it." There are tears in his eyes and I just want to disappear, pretend this day has never happened.

"Colt go to bed, you need to sleep this off." He pulls me tight to his body and his lips are on mine, it's not gentle, it's domineering, claiming, and hell if it isn't everything I want it to be. Yet my husband is standing in the room and I won't do this in front of him so I pull my head back, pushing at his arms. "Let go Colt" he shakes his head and backs me up into the wall. I see John approaching and I shake my head, I can calm Colt down. I just need a minute and the right approach, although the desperation in his eyes has changed to anger.

"It would only be fair you know, our husbands slept together so why shouldn't we. I want you so much, I know you want me Punk." I lick my lips and glance over at Randy, part of me wants that revenge, but not like this so I put my hands on Colt's cheeks smiling at him.

"Colt honey, let go of me, it is not going to happen tonight. Let me go and do me a favor and go upstairs and go to bed, I'll be up in a bit and we can cuddle okay?" I'm trying to be soft, it usually works with Colt but for some reason it is backfiring.

"You have to make a choice, tell him it's me Punk, Tell him you want me, you promised me a choice. Stop being so weak, you are not fucking weak Punkers." His weight is pressing me against the wall, pinning me and I need him off, because panic is starting to rise. I know he is drunk, he has no clue what he is doing and Colt wouldn't never do this sober but I need him off and for him to stop. I push at his chest more panicked then calm now, and I see Randy catching that and he is approaching fast, Bryan stops him and John is behind Colt.

"Get off" I whisper "get off" Yes full blown flashback is filling my head, and the room is starting to fade away. I do notice the touching on me changing to gentle, and my name being said softly, lips gently touch mine and I force my eyes to open, staring into the eyes of my viper. Colt is across the room, guilt all over his face. I'm sitting on the floor I wonder how I got to the floor. I lift a shaking hand to Randy's face, noticing a bite mark on my arm I sigh. I've been doing that to myself wen ever I have a flash back, biting my arm to stop the screams. This time the bite is shallow though, normally I am bleeding. As my fingers touch his face I sigh and he gives me a gentle smile. I then pull my hand back and slap him across the face as hard as I can. He doesn't move away, just shrugs.

"Hit me if you want, if it helps, you can beat the shit out of me." I glare hating that he gave me permission it would have been more satisfying to beat the shit out of him without fucking permission. Doesn't stop me from slapping him across the face several more times, until my hits are softer, all energy draining away. Hurting Randy doesn't help the pain I feel, I want my pills and I want them now. I push my way to my feet and notice for the first time, that the living room is a mess.

"Did I do this?" John sighs and I glance at him.

"Part you, part Randy, part Colt, thank god I don't live with any of you I would lose my mind." Bryan smirks and moves a cup holder on the table by John. Within a second John is moving it back into place and then cleaning up the room.

"How long was I out?" It seems so quick to me, but this destruction tells me I missed a lot.

"A little over an hour" I sigh and look at Colt, he is staring at the floor.

"Don't apologize, it was coming on without you, do me a solid and go up to bed, we will talk in the morning. I promise I will be up in a bit, just need to sit for a while" Colt looks at me and I smile at him, he nods and heads upstairs. "I want my pills" I state to Bryan my body hurts, my mind hurts, I want to be numb. Bryan shakes his head and I sigh going into the kitchen, I find a bottle of jack Daniels and pop it open, there is more than one way to numb out. A hand pulls the bottle from me and I look at Randy who holds out a pill. I take it examine it, and then giving him a skeptical look.

"It's not a pain killer, it's a mild sedative. I have a bottle, Chris prescribed them for you, in case. . ." I wince apparently my down fall was not completely unnoticed. I pop the pill and grab a glass of water, it may not be what I want but it will make me numb. "I'm sorry I lied, it's just the thing with Cody was onetime, we were both really drunk, and I honestly didn't tell you because it met nothing to me. I love you, you know that right?" I nod I do know that "So are you going to pick him over me?" I shrug I have no answers for either of them, I pull my cell phone from my pocket, staring at the missed calls all from an unknown number. I put it on speaker and listen to the voice mails, silence, heavy breathing, laughing, nothing that would tell me who did this. One is a recording of Paul, his rant at me when I was handcuffed at ringside_, "__I LOVED YOU! I MARTYRED MYSELF FOR YOU! I FATHERED YOU! I CARED ABOUT YOU! YOU WERE EVERYTHING TO ME! I OFFERED YOU BACK! I GAVE YOU MY HEART! YOU BROKE MY HEART! I LOVED YOU!_ It plays over and over again, the next message is Heyman stating I love you over and over again. I finally thrust the phone into Randy's hand, heading back into the living room.

My feet aren't working the way they should so it takes me longer to get there, when I do I see John's phone on the coffee table I grab it up and decide I need to make two phone calls. The first one is to Chris, I ask him to come see me, tell him I need to talk to him. He agrees but I knew he would. The next is a little harder I hit the number and wait. "Hello?" Cody sounds tired and confused and I can't blame him.

"Cody, its Punk can you get on the next plane here please, we need to talk, and I want the truth from you." He doesn't even ask what I am referring to just agrees and I hand up the phone, noticing it is getting warm in here I pull of my hoodie and chuck it towards the couch my aim if off and I notice my knees are feeling kind of like jello. I'm being lifted up and I murmur "thought it was mild"

"I lied" not surprising he's gotten good at it the last thing I hear before I fall back to sleep is John muttering something about people being messy and the living room not a hamper.

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**Thank you again for reading you are all amazing! So tell me should he be with Colt, Randy or alone, or both lol. Leave me reviews I want to know what you think!**

**Krebsbach- Yes they are dysfunctional, I don't think I ever do Punk as anything else lol!**

**Viperko- I am so happy to now Twisted Seduction is your favorite story ever, it is really the first slash story I poured my heart and soul into. I always write what I would want to read and would have an emotional reaction too, so I am glad you have one also!**

**lamentomori- no appearance of the stalker in this one, but very soon he will be revealed, it is not going to be Jim Cornett now (not) More of the Punk/Colt/Cody/Randy saga revealed, and up ahead it gets interesting. Randymuse is putting on his stilettos for the next chapter, very high spiky angry ones as he is outraged at everything I have to done to him lol, he wants to take care of his sub but I won't let him lol. He also would like to inform you he is not pretty to look at, he is deviously handsome, not pretty! Punk is pretty! Okay more questions, I hope I answered some, I'm not sure I did, but I hope so! **

**Okay everyone please go check out my story Amor Vincit Omnia, it is co-written with the amazing Lamentomori the inspiring force behind many of my stories, I think it may be some of my best work ever, possibly the best. Despite the title it is in english, go read it and let us know what you think. I love you all in advance for doing this.**


	5. Let Him Go

My head is more confused than ever when I wake up in my room, alone for a change, and haunted by my dreams. There is a reason I almost crave the insomnia, my rambling thoughts take on very ugly dreams. Though the medication knocked me the hell out my mind stayed awake and showed me the paths ahead, showed me the wreckage no matter what I choose. Someone is going to be hurt and my relationships are crumbling around me, this carefully constructed castle in the sand is finally collapsing and I am the one causing the decay.

I dreamed of a future with Colt, a future where my family was only a distant memory, I saw my kids every other weekend, Randy no longer in my life. I was miserable and the pain I was causing Colt was heart wrenching. Then I dream of my future with Randy, the pain, the pleasure, the drugs, the tragedy of it all, Colt no longer in my life and my sanity slipping away. The last option involved me walking away from both, this one was the worst I ended up alone being pursued by some unknown shadow, pleading for my life. No options looks appealing to me, no easy answers were found in my dreams.

I rise from the bed stretching aching muscles, glancing at the clock. Midafternoon, whatever Randy gave me knocked me for a loop. I descend the stairs after a long hot shower, wondering where everyone is. It doesn't take me long to locate most of them including the new editions. John, Bryan, and Chris are all outside by the lake, talking and I am assuming it's about me. I find Colt and Cody sitting on the front porch not speaking to each other and the awkwardness has me go in search of my husband. I look everywhere getting annoyed at how I can so easily lose a man that big, finally I descend to the gym in the basement, noticing a door I hadn't seen before open I step inside. Apparently John has a very extensive playroom even here, and Randy is standing in the middle of it looking for all purposes lost.

I approach and notice him clutching something in his hand, it only takes a moment for me to see that it is my collar, the red leather wrapped in his fingers. I'd left it behind in Chicago content with the chain around my neck for now. "I miss you" I'm startled by his voice, I didn't know he heard me.

"I miss you too" he turns and looks at me I can see the unshed tears in his eyes and I want to comfort him, but I also don't want to give him false hope.

"Then stop all this, let's just go home and get out lives back, I'll get clean go to rehab if that is what it takes, as long as you do the same. We could start fresh, start over, go to therapy. I will do anything Punk, I love you." I sigh and lean against the padded wall, studying Randy.

"It's not that easy Randy, you slept with Cody. If it was a complete stranger I could forgive that easier. Instead it was a man you once loved, you may have been drunk but that doesn't hurt me any less. Then instead of talking to me you chose to shut me out. I'm not sure I can forgive that, I'm not sure there is a place where we can start fresh, I think maybe there is too much damage." He looks hurt, but hey I'm being fucking honest. He looks away and then slowly back at me, and in an instant I am caught in the viper's stare, hard as steel and my heart rate increases as he stalks over to me. His hands brace on either side of my head.

"You are my sub" I nod "as your dom I could never find another sub, could you find another dom" I shake my head he knows this, "as long as you wear that necklace you belong to me." I nod missing this, his tone, his anger, his pure control of me. "I'm done with the fucking games, Chris and Cody are here go have your fucking conversations and then find me with an answer. You will either leave here with me and we will figure out our marriage, our life, and move forward. Or you will file for divorce, because the longer you stall the more people are going to be hurt. I'm not saying you have to forgive me today, I'm not sure I'm ready to forgive you but we are married, we have children, and at the moment you are putting Colt above it all." I swallow hard and go to speak but he shakes his head backing away, I am allowed to leave and I flea the play room. I return to my bedroom trying my hardest not to make my decision based on the physical reaction I just had to him being my dom.

A knock at the door a few minutes later has me looking up, I smile at Chris and gesture him into the room. "Hey doc" he smiles and takes a seat.

"So what do I owe the privilege of this house call? It's a very nice house call and I'm not complaining may even stay a few days." I shrug unsure of where to begin. "I've been told you had an episode last night." I nod and take a deep breathe of course someone would inform him of that.

"Flashbacks, been getting them a lot lately. I think it's because I have a new stalker and its reminding me of Paul. I honestly thought I had dealt with it all but I guess maybe I've been self-medicating instead of dealing with it."

"What are you taking?"

"Painkillers, whatever I can get prescribed." He raises an eyebrow and mutters about stricter wellness testing. "Different doctors, different pharmacy's it's actually very easy to get with my previous injuries." He rubs his forehead and gives me a look.

"So why am I here?" I'm not really sure I just know whenever shit got bad in the past within my head I turned to him. "Alright so therapy, I will get it set up, no more pills, and I will give your husband something to calm you if you need it." I nod and take a very deep breath.

"Randy and I aren't doing well, we are having problems and it's all this big cluster fuck." He laughs and gives me a look.

"You two thrive on chaos, I'm not sure you know how to do a calm relationship. I think for you love and tragedy go hand and hand, I've told you before I think your relationship has unhealthy factors but somehow it works for the two of you. My suggestion would be to get away with Randy, take some time and remember why you fell in love with him." I smile his words make sense it's just the barrier of the one thing I never wanted to do standing in the way of that plan. "I'll give you both a few weeks off, let Vince know you have medical reasons and you can both get sober."

"I fell in love with Randy in the midst of him drugging me, abusing me, and working with a man who later raped me. I think I may have never forgiven him for it, and now he cheated on me. I just feel like with him the blows to my pride never stop." He considers my words and stands.

"Love is never about pride, in fact when you love someone you usually need to let pride go. Love isn't blind Punk, in fact it puts a spotlight on your mistakes. Love sees more but it also forgives more. If you want a future with Randy let it all go, if you don't then walk away don't think you can, but you could try. I've got some phone calls to make." I nod and watch him leave, knowing really it's never been a choice for me. I stand and go in search of Cody, avoiding Colt I need to have this conversation first. I find him still sitting on the front porch but Colt is gone.

I sit on the step beside of him and take a breath "thank you for coming" he nods not looking up. "Do you love him?" That catches his attention and I feel his eyes on me.

"OF course I love my husband, we have problems and I made a mistake, but it would have never happened if it wasn't for…"

"For what? My relationship with Colt? Colt never letting go of me? For my relationship with Randy? For what, what gives ya the right to sleep with my husband?" He laughs bitterly and I need to remind myself to keep this civil.

"You encourage Colt, you do realize that right? Late night phone calls, your constant shoulder to lean on, touches, and embraces, the way you look at him. You encourage it!" I shrug and then stand walking down the steps to stand on the packed earth, trying to remain calm.

"We are best friends, always have been, long before you or Randy came into our lives we had each other. That bonds us in a way you may never understand. However I have always kept the line drawn, made it clear I'm with Randy, I love Randy. So please explain to me why you would fuck my husband and then blame me, because of insecurities and jealousy on your part. That gives you permission to tear my marriage apart. You are a selfish fucking prick, you claim to love Colt, but instead of fighting for him, instead of making your marriage work and waiting for him to let go, you go and sleep with Randy. The only conclusion I can get from that Colt is you have feeling for my husband. Well too fucking bad, because he's never going to want you, not the way he wants me, not the way he needs me. Grow up Cody, get your husband, take him home and work out your shit. Leave my husband and my life alone." Cody stands and approaches me I can almost feel the anger pouring from him.

"You play with Colt like he is your personal yo-yo, you think that's fair, you think he deserves a friend who turns to him when his marriage is on the rocks? You think he deserves to be treated like nothing more than a substitute for Randy when you know how he feels? Stay out of your marriage? Stay out of mine! Let him go for fucking sake, then maybe he has a chance to be happy. He is miserable because of you! I could satisfy Randy, hell I did many times that night, maybe I should have invited Colt to join us when he walked in, Randy would be the closest thing he'd ever get to fucking you. I love Randy always will but as a friend learn the fucking difference Punk. You know I have no clue why people would bother to stalk you, you're whiney, annoying and clingy, maybe if I'm lucky this stalker will actually succeed in killing you and then Colt will finally let you go." I know he is hurt and lashing out, I know we both are but I think he went too far with that one, and apparently I'm not the only one. John comes out the screen door and has Cody pinned to the side of the house in a blink of an eye.

"Apologize now" John apparently can turn his dom side on when very anger and I see actual fear in Cody's eyes. "You weren't there, you have no fucking clue what we all went through."

"John let it go" I state heading inside "he's fighting for Colt, and I would do the same in his shoes. Only thing is I wouldn't come off as psycho to do it." I walk into the kitchen and yell for Colt. He appears a moment later and I see him trying to keep his distance physically after last night I understand, I nod towards John and Cody. "May want to intervene, I'm going upstairs we need to talk when you are done." I head up the stairs and he follows me ignoring the fact that John has his husband pinned to a wall. I shake my head wondering how something so easy, turned so dark so quickly. I sit on the bed and he sits beside of me.

"I'm sorry for last night, I was drunk and angry and not myself." I nod and look over at him, deciding I need to get my point across I straddle his lap forcing his down.

"Your forgiven, just don't do it again." He nods eyes wide as I lower my head and begin to kiss his neck, it only takes a second for him to respond to have his hand's under my shirt, to stroke my skin. I finally pull back "tell me what you want?" He seems confused and then speaks softly.

"You Punkers, always been you." I can feel how much he wants me, hell I can't deny I want him too but I think it needs to be clear what the repercussions of these actions will be.

"Okay you can have me, for this afternoon, then what? I'm leaving with my husband, I'm going to try to make my marriage work. So we spend the afternoon fucking, you get your revenge and then we never speak again because neither of our husbands would approve if we did. I have a family Colt, children, and one afternoon wouldn't change that. What Randy and Cody did sucks, but it may be our own fault. We are too entangled in each other, we don't see how it affects others. There are two paths here Colt, I'll let you fuck me through this mattress and then we say goodbye, or we can be old men telling our grandkids about the time's we had on the indy circuit, we can have each other as friends forever, after a little time apart." He is hesitating now, taking in my words.

"Cody doesn't want a family, he doesn't want kids." It clicks then, Colt loves children wants to be a father. "Couldn't Randy share?" I laugh at the very idea, Randy does not share, he does not play well with others, I'm sure there are report cards out there that state that.

"What every other weekend I'm yours, no that's not a fix, but this isn't either. I love you, I do, if I didn't this wouldn't be so hard. Cody is young, he may change his mind, if not then that is a choice you need to make. Don't make me an excuse to walk away from your marriage." He pulls me down and wraps his arms around me, it feels odd like no matter what this is a goodbye, maybe not to each other, but to what could have been.

"I hate that I missed my chance, I really think if Randy never came into our lives we would have been great together." I nod I feel the same the thing is Randy did happen and there is no going back in time no changing the past, we can only live with what could have been. "I almost want to take you up on your offer, throw it all away for one time, get rid of this damn curiosity." I get that I do, I just hope he doesn't, that a future as friends means more than one afternoon together. "Can I at least kiss you one time, and not have him in your head, have it be about us?" I chuckle not sure if that is even possible, Randy isn't just in my head he is in my blood, my soul. I give a quick nod and when his lips meet mine, I force away everything and focus, remembering all the cheap hotel rooms, cramped cars, and road trips. The kiss is everything that is unspoken between us, everything that should have been but never was. When we part my breath is raged, and there is an ache in my heart. I still stand though and force down the feeling of sadness.

"I'll call you?" he nods and stands taking my hands in his.

"I'm here Punkers, if you need anything I'm here. Go fix your marriage, be happy, he makes you happy. I'll give you the space you need, just remember I'm here if you ever need me." I nod the door is still open, and I'm not sure we could ever shut it, not sure if it's capable of ever being closed, too much history lays between us.

It took me a while to figure out where they all went, too long, put my plans on hold and gave him time to tell people. So they know I exist know, but they won't be able to stop me, I will have Punk. He will be mine, I just need to be patient pick the right moment to reveal myself, to have what belongs to me. It's a chest game really, I've knocked out the pawns, now I just have to wait for the right moves to capture the king, just a few more players to take down and it will be check mate for Punk. By the time he realizes he is vulnerable it will be too late and there will be no place left to hide.

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**Please review! I love your reviews and it keeps me motivated! Next chapter will be Randy's POV!**

**lamentomori- ha I so almost made Cody the stalker, hell it could be him, but really there is not enough Cody not being whiny, or the bad guy out there that I wouldn't do it to him. You are so right, that Punk belongs with Randy and he needs to separate from Colt. I think the pieces are there for that to happen, but only if Punkmuse allow it too. He is very fickle so everything may go up in smoke again lol!**


	6. Remembering Who I am

There has been a mild commotion going on upstairs for a while, I finally ventured from my spot in the play room to see exactly what was going on. John is outside with Cody yelling, his voice gets higher and I think Cody should be worried for his safety. I step out on the porch listening for a few moments. I am across the yard shoving John out of my way and have a hold of Cody before I can even think about what I am doing. The things spilling from Cody's lips, John's defense of my husband, the fact that Cody just stated that he wished Punk had died by Paul's hand or the new asshole who is threatening Punk. The fact he wished Punk was out of his life and Colt's so he would never have to deal with him again, this man I once cared about just crossed a line and the viper in my has surfaced full force.

John's arm tugs me back, well he tries, "Stop it Randy your choking him, he can't breathe." I don't care he insulted my sub, my husband and no matter the circumstances he has no fucking right.

"Is it you stalking him now?" He shakes his head, his fingers prying at my hand. "Do you know who it is" again a shake of his head. "Did you touch him" I snarl in his face.

"No he didn't touch me Randy, let him go." I hear Punk's voice softly from the doorway and look over. He looks exhausted, and sad, something is wrong and if it wasn't for this Cody would be on the ground. I let go of him with a rough shove and go to Punk's side. He reaches out and strokes my cheek gently. I see Colt come out of the house, bags in his hand and head for the car. "John can you take them to the airport?" I feel hope at Punk's words, Colt is leaving perhaps he chose me over him.

Punk heads inside and I follow him, he walks into the living room sitting down on the couch. It seems like the weight of the world is on his shoulders and I need to take some of that away. I've realized how much I've been failing him lately, not only as a husband, but as a Dom. I've hurt him, and maybe he can never forgive me but my hope is that together we can get through it. We've always been able to get through everything together as long as we protected each other. "Don't make me regret what I've done today Randy, be the man I need, the man I love. Don't make me hate that I chose you." I sit down beside of him and drag him into my arms. He doesn't resist me just rests his head on my shoulder. I expect tears but I don't get them, I just get the warmth of his body against mine.

"Are you okay?" I finally ask breaking the silence in the room. He doesn't give me an answer staring at the wall. I lift his chin and capture his lips gently with my own, it's brief and he doesn't really respond to me before he pulls back. "Do you need anything?" He shakes his head and so we sit there in silence for what seems like hours. John returns from the airport, I smell the aroma of dinner being cooked yet still he doesn't speak. He is lost in his own head and I wonder if maybe this time I broke him. Bryan and John both come in and sit down, talking softly and watching us, mainly watching Punk. I feel his body tremble a few times, but then again so does my own. Withdrawal something we are going through together, we took different paths to get here, yet here we are.

"What now" I'm startled by his voice, looking over to him "where do we go from here Randy?" I'm not sure how to answer this, not even sure what he wants from me. Hell I know what I want, its simple really I want to repair the damage, remind him of our love and that no matter how angry I got at him he will always be my sub. Maybe that's where it needs to start, back at the base of our relationship, love is a strong part but really what connects us on an even deeper level is that we share a deeper bond, he is my submissive and maybe I've let that slip to far away. I stand and head back down to john's play room, I look around finding what I need quickly. No way are we going to play down here, but I need to make a statement. I march back up the stairs taking a deep breath, I let the confidence grow within me, let the power, the need to control spike. I stalk over to the couch, his eyes are on me they widen as I approach. I grab his chin and force him to his feet.

"Did I put this back on you?" I fist the chain around his neck the metal wrapping around my hand.

"No sir John did" I raise an eyebrow and give it a gentle tug allowing the chain to stretch but not break.

"That's assuming a lot, although it is where it belongs. Though I much prefer you in red." I undo the clasp allowing it to fall into my hand I fastening the collar tight around his neck. "Who do you belong to?"

"You sir, always you" I turn him around and pull his arms behind his back, my fingers trace the skin down his arms, following the tattoo's. Until my hands encircle his wrists tightly. I grip them tightly stroking the soft skin.

"You belong to me, this body belongs to me. No one is to ever touch you again, if they do I will fucking kill them. Do you understand?" He nods and I take the cuffs from my pocket attaching them to his wrist. "You are all I ever want or need, this body is the only thing I desire if you doubt that come to me and I will fucking remind you." I can see john out of the corner of my eye pulling Bryan onto his lap and I shake my head. I run my lips along Punk's lips pulling his head back so I can capture his mouth with mine, and there it is my hungry lover, his lips crashing into mine. No resistance, nothing holding him back, I pull away and pick him up easily tossing him over my shoulder. When he goes to speak I bring my hand down on to his ass, this isn't going to fix everything but we both need this, it has been far too long since I've had him underneath me screaming my name.

"We were enjoying the show" John calls as I carry Punk up the stairs.

"Pervs" I call back and I feel the laughter shake Punk's body.

"We could give them a show Sir" whispers Punk and my feet falter on the steps, I almost miss a stair, which would have caused both of us some serious pain. I blink a few times taking in his words, never have we included an audience in out play and the idea alone has me suddenly incredibly hard. I turn and head back into the living room tossing Punk onto the couch, I am on top of him. My mouth attached to his, my hands everywhere at once.

Hours later we both are nothing more than a sweaty heap on the living room floor, Bryan and John a sweaty naked heap themselves. The fact that all four of us are naked and exhausted in the same room should be awkward but it's not, hell it was kind of hot when we paused to watch them go at it. Punk squirms against me and glances up, looking at me from beneath his lashes. "My arms hurt Sir, would you consider taking off the cuffs." I smirk slightly but release him from his bonds.

He settles onto my chest and I run my fingers through his sweaty hair, wondering what the next step in this is. I know we can't stay here, but going home doesn't seem like the best idea yet. Staying here would put John and Bryan smack in the middle of our relationship issues again, and honestly we can't do that to them. Punk stares up at me with sleepy eyes and I smile kissing him gently. "Do you want to go away with me for a few days?" I see him think this over before he speaks.

"Where would we be going Randy?"

"Anywhere you want." He smiles and kisses my chest gently, right over my heart.

"The Maine house, it would be nice to be by the beach, even if it is cold." I chuckle and nod holding him close. After a while he squirms from my arms stating he is hungry. I watch as his ass heads into the kitchen, my eyes on those delicious round globes. I stand and gather my clothing finding my boxers I pull them on, Punk goes commando most of the time so I don't bother to try to find his. I hear a crash from the kitchen and I rush into the room, John and Bryan right behind me. There is a shattered cup on the floor, and Punk is standing there his eyes wide.

"Baby what is going on?" He just points slowly towards the back door. I blink a few times before I take in what has startled him. Large red letters on the glass spell out the word mine. There is a picture, a family picture from last year, my head has been cut out and in its place is someone else. He is letting us know who he is, letting us see exactly who the enemy is. Flaunting it in our face, I walk slowly towards the doors my eyes focused only on the man's face, the man I will put in the ground. A man I once consider a friend, Dean Ambrose is very much a dead man.

"He was here, how does he know where we are? How did he get through security Randy? He was watching us, the paint is on the inside of the door, which means he was in this house." I have to force down my anger and comfort Punk. I gather him quickly into my arms, ushering him from the room. I yank clothes onto him, pissed that Dean could have seen Punk naked and in a compromised position.

I keep my arms wrapped around him and listen to John's conversation with security. There was no sign of a breach, they had no clue how he got in. Punk is losing it in my arms, his body shaking and I can see him squeezing his eyes shut tightly. When his hands go to cover his ears I know he is no longer with me I look over to Bryan and mouth get Chris, he is staying in the small guest house. Bryan nods and disappears from the room, John informs me more security is on the way and they are looking over the video of the area to see how he got past them. I nod and talk softly to Punk trying to keep him with me. "I need my pills" he mutters and I shake my head. "They numb this Randy please" he is at least still aware enough to talk to me but that doesn't prevent my fear from rising.

"No you don't, I got you. I'm right here, everything is okay. Focus on me Punkers." I try to keep him with me, his fingers cling to my arms. Ambrose is a dead man for bringing all of this back to the surface, because I know this isn't about him. He is flashing back to Paul, the pain he went through, the things the man did. "He is dead Phil, it's just his memory. Force it down, think of happier things, think of us, our family, our kids, Paul never could touch what we had, our love." Punk shakes harder in my arms.

"He did though, he started all of this Randy. If it wasn't for him then we wouldn't even have a family. You would have never done what you did to me without him." I bring his head up and smile gently at him.

"I would have found you anyway, we are soul mates, and we would have come together without his influence it would have just taken longer. Stop letting him taint everything, you gotta let it go, forgive yourself it wasn't your fault Punk." His eyes focus slightly on me but then I see him fading away again. I take a deep breath and just hold onto him, trying to with my presence keep Paul's ghost away. Chris is in the room observing, a syringe at the ready one I hope we won't need to use. A small crash from the kitchen catches my attention, I see a security guard and desperately want to scream at him. The tiny noise has sent Punk spiraling, he is pushing at my chest to escape, s eyes wide with fear. He is no longer with me, I hold him firmly as Chris approaches, the doc tries to communicate with Punk bring him back to us but nothing gets through and his struggles increase. The needle pierces his skin and within minutes he is slumping to the floor his eyes fluttering close.

I place him on the couch gently and then pull out my cell phone, I scroll to the d's and take a deep breathing trying to calm the anger. I put the ringing phone to my ear and as soon as he answer I am spitting venom. "You are a dead man, I will fucking kill you." He laughs in his odd way and I seethe.

"He'll be mine very soon, and no amount of drugs will stop the nightmare that is coming your way. Sedating Punk, really you can't handle your own husband. He is not going to have these problems when I own him." I growl and hiss in the phone.

"Nobody owns Punk, you are so fucking dead. I suggest you run because the pain I am planning for you will be long and very fulfilling." I am yanking the blinds closed, and searching the room making sure he cannot watch us any more tonight.

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**Thank you for reading, so sorry there was such a wait for a new chapter! Life and well mainly work got in the way! Please remember to review!**

**GingerFate, Lamentomori, krebsbach, RomansQueen thank you all for your reviews, I would normally respond separately but at the moment I am exhausted and kind of having brain much! So thank you all so much, I appreciate your reviews and the encouraging words.**


	7. Flying High

Randy is being, well in all honesty he is being himself, overprotecting, controlling, pissed off, and dominating. Apparently when we are in crisis mode as a couple it all clicks. Too bad we cannot be in constant crisis our marriage would never be on the rocks. We left for Maine in the middle of the night, I was still sedated at the time. Randy has crazy security in both of our homes and he said he felt safer getting to a place he knew I would be protected. Yet we didn't come here alone, Randy feels that John and Bryan could also be in danger or at least that is what his excuse is. In all honesty I think he wants them around to keep an eye on me, to help keep me safe. I wonder why they remain our friends we are constantly interfering in there life's, they seldom get to have boring when they are around us. Between psychos, and relationship crisis's we are not the most stable of friends to have. Did I mention Chris tags along too, he apparently feels that we may need him and he is probably right.

Being in Maine for me is calming, it is a small island, a low population and can only get here by private boat or ferry. Our home is right on the beach and this place gives us the privacy we sometimes lack in our everyday life. The constantly armed security system, the guards, being watched every second is a little unnerving but after everything with Paul until this thing with Dean is dealt with I expect to have very little time by myself. Dean… I just don't understand it. We haven't exactly been friends, nor have we been enemies I've known him since we wrestled when he was back in developmental, and I knew that Paul had taken on a new project, molding someone behind the scenes I never knew it was Ambrose. I don't know what he wants, is this revenge does he know about Paul? Is it something more, are there motives I don't understand? I honestly can't go through this again, I cannot live my life in such fear.

I'm not doing well though I am putting on a brave face, he was in a place I consider safe and home, he could have been watching Randy and I being intimate and the fact he isn't hiding who he is anymore tells me he has a plan and I'm not looking forward to what that could be. We are all in danger, I know I should contact Colt and let him know but I wonder how awkward that conversation will be. I decide that I can't call and instead send him a text, I'm asking for time and space from him and this seems like I'm breaking my own request. I let him know it is Dean and that he is threatening everyone in my life, I tell him to watch his back and be careful. I get a simple okay sent back to me. I want more, I want to know how he is, if he is working things out with Cody, if he is okay but I have no right to these answers so I put my phone down.

Another text comes in a few moments later, _Are you okay? Why is Randy angry at Cody?_ That is not a situation I want to get into with Colt, his husband needs to make his own confession on this one. _I'm not great, but it is what it is. Ask Cody about it._ Silence again for a while before he texts again. _If you need a friend I am here. Are you staying clean? I did ask he won't tell me._ Of course he won't, but it is not my place to do so either, I've inserted myself enough into their marriage. _Thanks Colt, I know you are and I am here for you as a friend. Yeah I am no choice, have people watching me like a hawk. No one is leaving me alone for a minute. It is actually driving me slightly insane, well I'm already there but it's not helping with my mental situation. I can't get involved I'm sorry._ I wait and wonder if this is a good idea although having him in my life is something I need and if text is the way I can have it then I am not going to reject him. _Let them know you need space, you have a big mouth use it Punkers. You are not insane just a little touched but that's why we are best friends your crazy matches my own. It's okay I understand, heading to bed Punkers get some sleep I'm sure you haven't been and look like shit. _The man knows me well and I smile setting my phone down again.

Randy went into town to pick up supplies so John is in the living room watching TV while pretending to not be watching me. I rest my head on the counter staring at my phone. I called earlier and talk to Randy's parents and the kids. I miss them, but they are where they need to be. With everything with Dean, and the situation between Randy and myself they need to be protected. The last thing they need is to watch their parents implode. I'm startled when the phone starts vibrating, the noise echoing through the silent room. I glance at the screen and sigh, unknown number there is only one person it could be and although I want to know why he is calling I hit the ignore button, it doesn't stop though, over and over again my phone goes off. The sound driving me out of my mind, I bite at my lip until I can no longer take it any longer. I hit the answer button and place the phone to my ear. I don't even speak but it is not needed. "Punk, oh CM Punk are you trying to hide from me?" His laughter fills my ears and I rub at the back of my neck walking into the living room, needing to be closer to Cena. "I know where you are Punk, I know. No matter how far you run I will find you. Why not just come to me before innocent people get hurt. You need to pay for your crime, just come to me and maybe I will let you live."

"Fuck you Dean, leave me alone and my family alone." The words catch Cena's attention and he is up and standing beside of me trying to take the phone away from me.

"No Punk, fuck you! Tell Cena he better check on his bitch. I can't guarantee he is still alive it took so long for you to answer your phone. Don't ignore me in the future Punk, who knows who I will get to next." He laughs manically and then hangs up, my breathing is panicked and I look to John.

"Bryan, he said he hurt Bryan." John stares at me for a moment before he is gone, the banging of the back door echo's through the house and I sink down slowly. Bringing my knees up to my chest I grip the phone in my hand a lifeline to reality. I now John is running down the road to the guest house, and I should be following but I can't handle it, what could be waiting there. My finger hits the speed dial for Randy without even thinking about it. "He called Randy, said he hurt Bryan. What if he killed him, this is all my fault!" Randy's soothing voice fills my mind and even though I am not hearing the words the tone sooths me. The door in the back slams sometime later and I glance over seeing John approaching, Bryan right behind him.

"He lied Punk, Bryan's fine." I can see that but it doesn't help, it doesn't change that Dean is playing games and anyone around me could get hurt. Paul was amateur hour compared to the insanity of this man. I need to protect everyone around me and at the moment the only way I see to do that is to get away from them. To face down Dean on my own terms, the thing is none of them are going to let me do that. Not unless I push them away, I burn all of my bridges and just hope I can fix them after. Strong arms wrap around me and I lean back against Randy, breathing in the smell of him wondering how I could have ever walked away from this.

"I love you" I whisper and I can feel his smile against my neck, we may not be in the best place but one thing that is always true there is love.

"I love you too, let's get you off the floor." I nod and allow him to pull me to my feet, he takes the phone from my hand and I watch as he slides it into his pocket. "I'll get the umber changed, he needs to not have any access to you." I just nod as he ushers me to the couch, the four of us settle down silently. "What did he say?"

"That he knew where I am, that he'll hurt anyone to get to me. That I shouldn't ignore him that I need to go to him and pay for my crimes." Randy tightens his arms around me and I press against his chest.

"He won't hurt anyone I promise, I have people tracking him and as soon as we locate him he will regret ever messing with you." I nod knowing this man would die to protect me. He runs his fingers through my hair and I take a deep breath.

"I want to get high right now" it's an ugly statement for someone like me but it is the truth. I also don't mean pain pills I want to be full blown high, numb to the world, happy, euphoric, I don't care how but I want it all to disappear for a few moments. "Please" I whisper against his skin, my lips hot on his neck. It's not fair, I'm asking him for this but I know he could help me. His fingers trail along my arm before he stands, pulling me up His strong arms effortlessly raising me from the ground.

"Randal" John's voice is full of concern and I can't help the smile that crosses my lips. "Giving him drugs is not a good idea." Randy actually laughs and shakes his head at the man, Bryan slaps him upside the head and I can't help but chuckle myself.

"He doesn't want drugs John, you two should go home we are going to be spending the night in our playroom. I haven't finished the sound proofing in there yet so I wouldn't hang around here." I tighten my legs around Randy's body, glad he knew so easily what I needed for him, it is almost as if we are finally in sync with each other once again. The natural rhythm of a Dom and sub that had been missing returning to both of us. He carries me down the hallway his lips sucking lightly on my neck.

He knows my body like no other, how to touch me, how to taste me, tease me, bring me to the edge but never let me crash over. He knows when to use pain, when to be gentle, and how to bring me to the place where I'm numb to everything except the ecstasy as I find this natural high that is unlike anything else, that is the most addicting feeling in the world and I receive this at his hands.

Hours later I lay in his arms, my body shaking as I slowly come down. He is so gentle during this time, taking care of me. "I missed this" I whisper and he takes my face gently in his hands. Kissing me in the way he used too.

"I did too, I'm sorry our love got lost." I nod I know we need to talk more, that sex is a band aid for some real issues but at this moment in time alls I care about is how safe I feel, how cherished and loved by this man. I could drown in him at the moment and not care. I'll need to deal with the Dean situation soon, I'll need to find a way to stop him before he hurts everything I love but for tonight I can't care. I'll just embrace my husband and let him send me into the stratosphere.

* * *

Dean's POV

I watch from a distant, it would be so easy to get to my target but I wait. I know I panicked Punk earlier and to hear the fear in his voice, the quiver in his breathing it was so enthralling. If he only knew the truth, I am nowhere near his little safe haven, Randy has done a good job securing that place. So I changed my plans and I can honestly say the new ones are much more delightful. I watch as the little blonde girl gets a drink and is sent back to bed, the little girl that is going to help me get her father to come to me. Very soon she is going to be my bait and I will draw Punk right into my web.

* * *

**Thank you so much for reading, please remember to review!  
**

**marsnomnom- Yes it is Dean! Glad you are loving it, Dean just seems to do crazy well!**

**krebsbach- Yes Dean, sorry if you hate that but really he does psycho so well!**

**InYourHonour- Thanks for your review, glad you are loving it!**

**lamentomori- Yes there is some closure with Cotl, and yes in the future what Cody said will bite him in the ass. More progress for Randy and Punk here, although you are right about Punk and the show, it will come up again in the very near future. Yes in essence Randy does own Punk that is very much part of the BDSM scene, however Randy is failing at the dom part so far, I think the statement was his way of acknowledging that perhaps he has lost his right to claim Punk, showing some insecurities though we will see where that goes!**


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